It is said "A Journey of a thousand miles, begins but with a single step" . I feel like I am beginning my journey over for the thousandth time, but I am still motivated to take that step. For the moment, at least, I must stand.. breathe.. and figure out the path I am to take.
I know my goal. My destination. What I do not know, is how to achieve that goal.
I know I must learn to love myself. To accept myself. That is possibly the hardest task that I have to accomplish, yet it seems as if it should be the easiest. I mean.. if you can love ANYONE, shouldn't it be yourself? But I hold myself to a level of expectation that isn't reachable. Unless I can find a way to develop my clone or perhaps grow some extra limbs. I must find a way to accept myself for what I am.. Human.
My problem seems to stem from my abusive past, I hear echoes of those insults and criticisms. It was as if each one of them tattooed themselves onto my heart. But that was my own doing. The best idea would have been to have accepted that I was human and I would make mistakes and it wasn't the end of the world. The world still turned, the sun still rose, and I still lived another day.
If I can indeed accept and love myself, I believe it will help the rest to fall into place.
Now to go give myself a GREAT.BIG.HUG.